↻ honest questions · for two, or for dating
The 35 Questions
Thirty-five honest questions about who you are, the life you want, and what makes you compatible — across seven areas, from core values to how you show up to others. Inspired by Chris Olah's date-me doc.
Try answering any of them below — no account needed, saved on your device. When you're ready, sign in to save them, publish a shareable date-me profile, or answer privately with a partner where each reply stays hidden until you've both written your own.
01 · Core Identity & Values
What grounds you
What are 2–3 principles that have guided your most important life decisions?
What work or causes are you dedicated to, and why do they matter to you?
Beyond your work, what other aspirations are central to your life vision?
What moral or ethical frameworks guide your decisions?
Are there particular communities or movements you identify with? How do you relate to them?
02 · Relationship Aspirations
The life you want to build
What kind of family life do you envision? (children, timeline, parenting approach)
What relationship structure works for you? (monogamy, polyamory, etc.)
How do you see financial responsibilities working in your relationship?
What role do you want your partner to play in your life beyond romance?
What does “home” mean to you, and how do you want to create it with someone?
03 · Self-Assessment
An honest look inward
What are 3–5 qualities about yourself that would particularly benefit a partner?
What are 2–3 challenges or growth areas a partner should know about?
How have you grown from past relationships? What have you learned?
What personal tendencies might create friction in a relationship?
How do you handle conflict, disagreement, or difficult conversations?
04 · Intellectual & Emotional Connection
How you connect & feel close
What topics spark genuine excitement and curiosity in you?
What kinds of conversations make you feel most intellectually alive?
How do you express affection and feel most loved in return?
What shared activities would you hope to enjoy with a partner?
What kinds of moral or philosophical questions do you find yourself returning to?
05 · Lifestyle & Practicalities
Your everyday rhythms
How do you spend a typical weekend? What brings you joy in your free time?
What are your geographic preferences or constraints?
What personal habits or lifestyle choices are important to you? (diet, exercise, substance use)
What sorts of social experiences do you enjoy? How do you prefer to engage with community?
What does work-life balance look like for you, ideally?
06 · Compatibility Indicators
What draws you & what doesn’t
What qualities in others do you find most attractive or compelling?
What shared values are non-negotiable for you in a partner?
What differences in perspective might you find enriching in a relationship?
Are there particular life experiences or backgrounds you connect with?
What would make someone immediately incompatible with you?
07 · Presentation Elements
How you show up to others
What places or settings make you feel most yourself?
What stories or examples best illustrate your character?
How would close friends describe you to someone they’re matchmaking you with?
What questions would you want potential matches to ask themselves before reaching out?
How do you want to communicate your openness to connection?